Love You, Be You

Be Gentle With Yourself

When was the last time you told yourself you loved you? Flaws and all? The world isn’t a cold place, and we haven’t been doing the best job at being warm to ourselves. Self-care isn’t only facials and buying the wardrobe of your dreams. This isn’t writing affirmations and telling yourself sweet nothings but simply embodying it. It’s the little reminders we give ourselves to remind us we are worthy.

What you may be worthy of is up to your discretion but tap into love. You can never expect from the world what you can’t provide yourself. Loving on yourself is free. The blames we put on external factors are the opposite of loving ourselves.

Blaming a girl jet-setting the world with lip injections could be an easy scapegoat as to why you feel social media is toxic. But when you think about it, who cares about the assumed “false” persona people put on when you are happy in your own life.

Take Your Time

When I took my social media hiatus, it had nothing to do with others. I identified there was no genuine reason for me to be there. Once I took my break, I truly began to pour into myself. I ran into simplifying my life and seeing what is true for me. It wasn’t that I wasn’t myself; I realized I didn’t take time to show gratitude for who I was beyond the physical. It was one of those things where we take ourselves for granted. While I was singing my praises for my ability to be me, I also became honest about what I could brush upon.

The pressures of finding love in your 30’s or sturdy careers in your 20’s have caused this warped version of self. The more I appreciated myself; these standards began to disappear from my mind. The more we remove what is not for us, we must be just as active to replace it with something that is. It is easy to complain about what doesn’t fit instead of pursuing what does.

As we learn more of these stereotypes we do or don’t fulfill, it causes a slow erosion of who we were sent here to be. Staying still and adjusting my needs felt terrific.

In Reality.

We all have pain we wish to erase, portions of ourselves we would like to change while expediting the healing process. Staying present in each of life’s phases became my natural default. Not shaming myself for where I’ve come from nor reprimanding myself of where I’m not made it easy for me to see the light. We are no longer children; we have complete control over our destiny. There may not be a support system in your life to clap for everything you do, but you mustn’t stop.

You have to be your number one supporter and cheerleader, and that’s okay. I see people would terminate a friendship because their friends didn’t support them, but there’s no valid reason for such rash behavior. We lean too hard on external factors, sometimes wishing it were natural from those around us. This isn’t telling you you are alone in the world; it’s the opposite.

It’s a friendly reminder that you need to be there for yourself first. All the love you pour into others isn’t a crime, but it becomes one when you’re pouring from an empty cup.

How to Love You

The would isn't hard on us; we are hard on us. Life is made of decisions we make up on the fly with the resources and knowledge we have at the moment. Hindsight being 20/20 is something I love to hate because the “what ifs’ could kill the most robust self-confidence. We consider mistakes are usually a reroute to get a lesson along the way. The next time you catch yourself ‘overthinking,’ allow your emotions to flow. Overthinking is typically a sign that we are emotionally constipated and solely rely on our minds to fix what we won’t let our hearts feel.

Emotions have been a taboo topic in our present society. We have a diagnosis for everything but haven’t seen it called: feeling. If your mind is racing, you are labeled anxious, but in reality, you’re living in the future. Depression is the need for deep rest after analyzing our past and is now stuck on regret. Allow your heart to stay present, and don’t punish yourself for your emotions.

It's okay to sit with your feelings; not everything is cured by a night on the town or a phone call to your friends. Being overwhelmed is normal and, most of the time, a sign we have to be inactive for a minute. We are not robots, so allow your human nature to flow.

I am pretty sure if you get to your core, you’re pretty awesome. But I am only your online best friend. Start being kinder to yourself. Don’t silence your shadowy emotions. Be more attentive to your present with no complaints. You will see a shift in yourself!

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Tiara Mitchell

Tiara Mitchell

Author of “The Heart’s Patchwork:Poetry for Self Love” Available on Amazon Kindle. NYC Writer| TiaraMitchell.com